The Reds

Will someone please help me? Are the Reds ever going to win again? I'm just wondering if they even care. I don't see anyone out there who looks like they really want to win. Even Brandon Phillips seems to be hanging his head.

Weekend Movies

Con and I went to see two movies this weekend. On Saturday we saw Cloverfield. I liked it and Con said it was OK. I thought it was well done but the acting was just decent. A girl from the TV show The Class was in it and I like her. I don't want to give too much away but I think it's worth a matinee. We saw Charlie Wilson's War on Sunday. I have to admit that this wasn't one that I was excited about but it was really good. Not great but really good. Tom Hanks was fantastic as usual. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was excellent as well. I think we're going to go see There Will Be Blood tomorrow.

Brain Damage

My quote of the day comes from Scrubs.

"Brain damage is rarely good."- Dr. John "JD" Dorian

Super Hero First Day

I am very pleased to announce that today I officially became a superhero. I thought you might be interested in seeing my agenda for the day.

7:45 Pick up orientation packet at check in desk. Surprised to find there is no health plan.
8:00 Attend orientation breakfast. Use X-ray vision to warm up cold scrambled eggs.
8:30 Stop by "Sidekick" room and pick up superhero sidekick. Name him "Turd Boy".
9:05 Take in inspirational lecture by "Cocaine Man". Reveals he now wishes to be called "Re-hab Man".
9:45 Try on spandex superhero outfit. Ask Turd Boy if outfit makes my ass look big. Take outfit back and ask if they have something in khaki.
10:20 Partner-up with "The Phlegminator" during team-building activity.
10:35 Wash hands.
11:15 Perform first superhero task. Use power of flight to fly to Hollywood and prevent George Clooney from making another "Ocean's" movie.
12:00 Make mistake by agreeing to go to lunch with Drool Girl.
12:45 Pee in "Great Salt Pond". Change name to "Great Salt Lake".
1:15 Use power of invisibility to sneak into Jessica Alba's shower. Find myself in Rosie O'Donnell's shower instead. Make note to check Superhero GPS system.
2:30 Use "Vulcan Mind Warp" on Britney Spears. Take off my underwear and shave my head.
4:00 Go to gym for quick workout. Use supersonic speed to run 2,325 miles in 17 seconds. Discover anti-persperant does not hold up.
5:00 Participate in "intervention" with Lindsay Lohan for Re-hab Man.
6:30 Kick Kid Rock's ass. Do not need super powers for this.
7:00 Stop by Blockbuster and pick up copy of The Family Stone
7:30 Go home. Put on Superman jammies and start movie.
9:00 Lights out.

What Grinds My Gears! (Apologies to Peter Griffin)

Today it's Reverend Al Sharpton

Reverend Al has demanded the suspension of a Golf Channel reporter who uttered what he considered to be a racially insensitive remark on air. According to the reporter, the Golf Channel and even Tiger himself there was no racial intent in those remarks. However, this wasn't good enough for Reverend Sharpton. The really sad thing, in my opinion, is that the Golf Channel backed down and suspended her for two weeks. Help me out here Mr. Sharpton, how can you expect to end racial discrimination when you perpetuate it by claiming discrimination where there clearly is none? If you want to read an article about it, it's here. http//www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/10/tilghman.woods/?iref=mpstoryview

Random (perhaps disturbing) Thoughts

To the best of my knowledge, there has never been a superhero with a sidekick named "Turd Boy".

Even if I was single and desperate, I would not find Marge Simpson attractive.

Plotting to assassinate Abraham Lincoln now would be pointless.

Shouldn't pedophiles be abnormally obsessed with feet?

Laughter may be the best medicine, but I'll bet it doesn't cure herpes.

Why I Don't Like Tom Brady

#1 I am jealous. All other reasons are based on this premise.

#2 He is good looking. When you're old and ugly like me, that is reason enough.

#3 He is in shape. In all my years of visiting all-you-can-eat buffets, I have yet to see him in any of them!

#4 He cheats. He has apparently gone back and viewed films of other MVP's and patterned his game after theirs. That ain't right.

#5 He works hard. This guy wasn't even drafted in the first round and yet he has made himself into one of the greatest QB's of all time. What's wrong Tom? Mediocrity not good enough for you? It seems to have worked out for me.

#6 I love the Colts. No matter how well the Colts are doing, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking about having to face the Patriots down the road. That doesn't sit well with me.

#7 He must not be a very good actor. Where are all the commercials, Tom?

Hello, everyone!

I make no promises that I will ever post another word but here goes.

Our vacation is nearing an end and we enjoyed being with Kels and Brady and family. I also enjoyed seeing Space who left yesterday for home.

The love of my life: